so after maria & i posted a link on facebook about old navy's new 'formula powered' onsie from dr momma, and as always, a good discussion followed (is following?), it got me thinking about my doula certification. participating in the discussion, i was trying to say what i wanted to say in a (somewhat) eloquent way (come on, it is facebook!) and realizing that i didn't really mind offending someone (that is to say, make them question what they were saying or why they believed a certain way, not to offend just to offend) i realized that is also the basis for my uncertainty about continuing my doula certification with DONA (although not my doula-ing in general. that i'll stick with!)
i started my certification process last winter and took a three day course that was DONA approved. i've got everything finished, but i just need to attend a couple of births to finish certifying. this has proved difficult given my full time job and desire to have somewhat of a life as well. however, i knew it would take awhile when i started-that's not my concern.
from what i gather/read/hear/see, doulas (certified) are supposed to give support to a woman in labor. this is all good & well & something i love to do. however, a phrase that gets thrown around a lot is 'helping the woman to have her best birth within her circle of decisions' or some variant of that. basically, let mom make the calls (& dad, usually), don't question them, but help her to achieve her ideal birth within those decisions. don't try to change her mind.
that was all & well, until i started thinking about it. i do believe all women deserve a doula in birth, but i believe women deserve (even more!) to be educated about their bodies, births, babies, etc. & not educated in a 'i read what to except when you're expceting and now i know exactly what i want' but educated in a delving into the information, playing with it, thinking about outcomes, throwing ideas around, asking probing questions, and never settling for something she isn't sure of. as a doula, i want to help with that. but i am not going to sit by when a (perspecitve) client says "well, i think vaginal birth is creepy, so i am scheduling my c-section". sorry, my gut & my conscience won't let me smile & say...okay! sounds great, i'll massage your shoulders while they cut through your abdominal muscles.
i realize that everyone has an inherent right to make their own choices, despite them being (objectively or subjectively) good or bad, smart or dumb, educated or ignorant, etc. i wouldn't try to take away anyone's right to those choices-that's not my job. but i would want to educate, push & required my clients (& friends & family!) to think about their choices. as a friend, that's in the job description, but as a certified doula, you can only go so far.
i understand why-sort of. we don't want to to antagonize doctors and nurses and midwives. we want to be allowed & welcomed into hospitals and birthing centers. we want to be respected and we do need to show respect. without getting into my feelings that no one should be giving birth in a hospital anyway (aside from those with major complications), we run into a tricky situation.
as a doula, i could choose to do any variety of births. homebirth only, teenage birth only, anything & everything, only new moms, only experienced moms, etc. i would venture to say that i'd choose homebirth (& maybe birth center births), & unmedicated. but...there's the catch. moms who are likely to choose a homebirth & unmedicated birth generally don't need a doula. they will benefit, that's for sure. but usually, they have a supportive partner, friends, etc. the moms who need doulas are the moms in hospitals, being bullied by OBs on a schedule. the moms who need the push & the education are the ones, i feel, we can't truly give the support to. we can in the sense that we can be there for them and just having someone present can really help rates of breastfeeding rise & rates of medicated births and c-sections decrease. but...that's about it. we can't help speak for mom (which of course, shouldn't be done unless a doula knows explicitly what mom wants) and we can't tell the doctor to PUT DOWN THE SCISSORS!
i think i am okay with being a very part-time, outspoken doula. i didn't get into this area of work to sit by & watch things happen. i did it to change lives.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
a couple of random things
what is going on with this weather? totally unrelated to anything else i have to say, but jeez, it's making it really hard to plan ella-related activities!
anyway. i was catching up on reading over at the feminist breeder (hi gina! we met at chanda's class! i was talking about post-partum doulas). i was reading this post and i feel like i need to apologize to you on behalf of that woman! i am a practicing catholic and i feel like most of the time, we (christians in general) get a really bad rep because of people who go around telling other people what horrible people they are. that's not helpful, it's not what we should be doing. i am not asking you to convert (haha) but i am asking you to remember that not all christians behave like this woman. thanks!
totally unrelated (except for through my google rss feed) is this high chair. personally, i think that's really awesome! except you can't reuse it for the second (third, fourth, etc) baby. but, if you combine it with this post from childhood magic (although obviously without the bark, which kinda makes the blocks, but whatever) and have a slowly-growing set of wooden blocks! (ok, probably not. but still, in my mind, it's really cool).
moving on to more materialism, i probably need these shoes. (disregard the fact that i almost never wear any sort of tennis-type shoes & the fact that they are a bit of an over-statement). i need them the same way that i needed an italian jersey & walk-out jacket (check & check-happy early birthday to me!), which is to say, not at all, but i reeeeeeally wanted them.
one last thing, a crafty item from the angry chicken. this cigar box/wooden box gift idea is absolutely awesome. it can be customized indefinitely and therefore perfect for pretty much anyone! someone go ahead & make me one too, please!
anyway. i was catching up on reading over at the feminist breeder (hi gina! we met at chanda's class! i was talking about post-partum doulas). i was reading this post and i feel like i need to apologize to you on behalf of that woman! i am a practicing catholic and i feel like most of the time, we (christians in general) get a really bad rep because of people who go around telling other people what horrible people they are. that's not helpful, it's not what we should be doing. i am not asking you to convert (haha) but i am asking you to remember that not all christians behave like this woman. thanks!
totally unrelated (except for through my google rss feed) is this high chair. personally, i think that's really awesome! except you can't reuse it for the second (third, fourth, etc) baby. but, if you combine it with this post from childhood magic (although obviously without the bark, which kinda makes the blocks, but whatever) and have a slowly-growing set of wooden blocks! (ok, probably not. but still, in my mind, it's really cool).
moving on to more materialism, i probably need these shoes. (disregard the fact that i almost never wear any sort of tennis-type shoes & the fact that they are a bit of an over-statement). i need them the same way that i needed an italian jersey & walk-out jacket (check & check-happy early birthday to me!), which is to say, not at all, but i reeeeeeally wanted them.
one last thing, a crafty item from the angry chicken. this cigar box/wooden box gift idea is absolutely awesome. it can be customized indefinitely and therefore perfect for pretty much anyone! someone go ahead & make me one too, please!
Thursday, June 10, 2010
the train & the fountain
we took the metra train into the city today with maddie & nicole to head over to millenium park. i don't know what parents let their children take the train unattened, but listening to a bunch of 15 year old boys swearing at each other wasn't particularly enjoyable. i think the girls were agitated, too-they didn't seem to enjoy the ride as much as usual.
we took the bus over to the park & took the girls to see the bean. ella thought it was pretty cool, but then discovered the fences around the bean that were much cooler.
we grabbed lunch at bennigans & a special thanks to our server who smiled at us while two little toddlers flung food, smeared food & yelled. it was a good lunch! (also, bennigans fries are pretty delicious!)
we left there & headed back to the park, where it had turned chilly, but suited up the girls for their promised run through the faces fountains. maddie was a little unsure, ella was into it full-force until the incident occurred. we won't talk about it, but enough to say it was time to put dry clothes back on & head home.
train home, maddie passed out & ella mumbling about...something?
& now it's naptime.
there are so many things i want to do with ella in the city. she's an awesome traveler (usually). the taste, outdoor concerts, museums...etc. i'm so happy it's summer!
we took the bus over to the park & took the girls to see the bean. ella thought it was pretty cool, but then discovered the fences around the bean that were much cooler.
we grabbed lunch at bennigans & a special thanks to our server who smiled at us while two little toddlers flung food, smeared food & yelled. it was a good lunch! (also, bennigans fries are pretty delicious!)
we left there & headed back to the park, where it had turned chilly, but suited up the girls for their promised run through the faces fountains. maddie was a little unsure, ella was into it full-force until the incident occurred. we won't talk about it, but enough to say it was time to put dry clothes back on & head home.
train home, maddie passed out & ella mumbling about...something?
& now it's naptime.
there are so many things i want to do with ella in the city. she's an awesome traveler (usually). the taste, outdoor concerts, museums...etc. i'm so happy it's summer!
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
bug, you're two!
dear bug,
you are two today! you are amazing!
we had a birthday party for you today. friends over & the weather was perfect. sunny & hot. you & your friends played in the pool, on the swingset & with the hose. you screamed & laughed & slid face-first into the pool. it was amazing and a perfect way to turn two! we are so lucky to have such amazing friends around!
you are such a big girl & such a baby. toddlers are masters of foot-in-both-worlds and you are no exception. you can put your shoes on by yourself (okay, just the froggy boots), you can speak in four & five word sentences, you can unwrap a baybel cheese & fill up your own water cup. you can open my iphone & play games or record yourself speaking. you can play lady gaga & you know where to find the arthur books in the library. you can crack an egg and grind pepper. you can go upstairs by yourself. you sleep in a big girl bed now and you can click the top buckle in your carseat.
but you're still a sweet little baby! you need help falling asleep and you need your cicci. sometimes i forget how little you really are and you throw a tantrum to remind me.
in case you want to hear stories about yourself at two years old, i'll tell you some.
you love to 'saute' & you aren't afraid of anything, except birds and sometimes our cleaning lady. you give your stuffed animals kisses & cuddles & rides in the stroller. you love edamame, cheese, pretzels and strawberries. you have ever-changing tastes, but right now your favorite animal at the zoo is the bear. i think it's because, one time, the polar bear jumped into the water and we saw it! it was amazing! we'll keep checking for jumping bears!
you love the park and you love to climb. higher and higher until i can't take it anymore and either make you come down or climb up with you! you like to swing in the big girl swings on your 'tum-tum' and dig in the sand.
you ask to go in the 'big car' when you want to go out. you are a wonderful shopper & have strong opinions on everything!
you color and name the colors, but every color is either blue or bluepink! you count "one, two, four, seven, eight, nine, ten!" & i want to record it, but i never seem to have the camera out at the right time.
you are so sweet and amazing. i hope you never forget that. you are amazing even when you are sad, when it takes you two hours to go to bed (ahem tonight ahem) & when you yell because i am reading the wrong book. you are smart & funny & skilled.
bug, i love you!
you are two today! you are amazing!
we had a birthday party for you today. friends over & the weather was perfect. sunny & hot. you & your friends played in the pool, on the swingset & with the hose. you screamed & laughed & slid face-first into the pool. it was amazing and a perfect way to turn two! we are so lucky to have such amazing friends around!
you are such a big girl & such a baby. toddlers are masters of foot-in-both-worlds and you are no exception. you can put your shoes on by yourself (okay, just the froggy boots), you can speak in four & five word sentences, you can unwrap a baybel cheese & fill up your own water cup. you can open my iphone & play games or record yourself speaking. you can play lady gaga & you know where to find the arthur books in the library. you can crack an egg and grind pepper. you can go upstairs by yourself. you sleep in a big girl bed now and you can click the top buckle in your carseat.
but you're still a sweet little baby! you need help falling asleep and you need your cicci. sometimes i forget how little you really are and you throw a tantrum to remind me.
in case you want to hear stories about yourself at two years old, i'll tell you some.
you love to 'saute' & you aren't afraid of anything, except birds and sometimes our cleaning lady. you give your stuffed animals kisses & cuddles & rides in the stroller. you love edamame, cheese, pretzels and strawberries. you have ever-changing tastes, but right now your favorite animal at the zoo is the bear. i think it's because, one time, the polar bear jumped into the water and we saw it! it was amazing! we'll keep checking for jumping bears!
you love the park and you love to climb. higher and higher until i can't take it anymore and either make you come down or climb up with you! you like to swing in the big girl swings on your 'tum-tum' and dig in the sand.
you ask to go in the 'big car' when you want to go out. you are a wonderful shopper & have strong opinions on everything!
you color and name the colors, but every color is either blue or bluepink! you count "one, two, four, seven, eight, nine, ten!" & i want to record it, but i never seem to have the camera out at the right time.
you are so sweet and amazing. i hope you never forget that. you are amazing even when you are sad, when it takes you two hours to go to bed (ahem tonight ahem) & when you yell because i am reading the wrong book. you are smart & funny & skilled.
bug, i love you!
Sunday, April 18, 2010
oo3
still on call. no babies. am starting to get disillusioned. i really did think this was a great way to get my certification births in, but it hasn't proved that way. yet. i need to send in my may availability and i am just not sure what to do. i am wavering between saying i am available friday nights (a good night for me to be on call) & just skipping it all together. i don't want to miss out on the chance, but at the same time, i am nervous when i am on call & agitated when it's over without phone calls & babies.
i need to start on my fertility care practitioner essay for the application. i should probably watch the DVD first though-to get a better idea. however, i am really excited about this-i think i can really help a lot of people! and it's not on-call, so perhaps that will make it a bit easier on my brain!
i went to clovers yesterday and got a tomato plant & a strawberry plant! i planted them & they're sitting outside next to my baby lettuce that's growing slowly but surely & my 'herb garden' which is a pot filled with tiny little oregano & basil seedlings. hopefully everything will be okay-leave it to me to plant stuff before a week with a frost warning! i covered them with an old sheet last night and can always bring them inside if it gets too chilly. i have visions of homegrown tomato salads & fresh strawberries....yum! plus, i think bug will get a lot out of seeing things grow and being able to eat them!
i took a sewing lesson from angie & got a few wipes sewn...then my machine jammed & i took it apart (a bit) & can't figure out the problem-so i'm bummed about that. i wanted to finish the wipes, make a small pouch for them & start on a few other projects. not going to happen, at least not today. oh well, there's always another project!
i should eat some breakfast (coffee is not a complete breakfast, contrary to my popular belief) & start on the ever-present to-do list!
i need to start on my fertility care practitioner essay for the application. i should probably watch the DVD first though-to get a better idea. however, i am really excited about this-i think i can really help a lot of people! and it's not on-call, so perhaps that will make it a bit easier on my brain!
i went to clovers yesterday and got a tomato plant & a strawberry plant! i planted them & they're sitting outside next to my baby lettuce that's growing slowly but surely & my 'herb garden' which is a pot filled with tiny little oregano & basil seedlings. hopefully everything will be okay-leave it to me to plant stuff before a week with a frost warning! i covered them with an old sheet last night and can always bring them inside if it gets too chilly. i have visions of homegrown tomato salads & fresh strawberries....yum! plus, i think bug will get a lot out of seeing things grow and being able to eat them!
i took a sewing lesson from angie & got a few wipes sewn...then my machine jammed & i took it apart (a bit) & can't figure out the problem-so i'm bummed about that. i wanted to finish the wipes, make a small pouch for them & start on a few other projects. not going to happen, at least not today. oh well, there's always another project!
i should eat some breakfast (coffee is not a complete breakfast, contrary to my popular belief) & start on the ever-present to-do list!
Sunday, April 11, 2010
oo2
sherlock holmes is a great movie. lots of explosions. gotta love quirky characters as well.
the weekend is always just a bit too short, you know? not quite enough time to sleep in, to finish that book, to organize evernote clippings (addicted to evernote, btw), to go out for laaate breakfasts, to cook, to relax. i am a firm believer that we should adopt the way of swiss schoolchildren. no school (or work!) on wednesdays. a break, a quick breather in the middle of the week! time to go to the gym, catch up on sleep, craft something like these adorable aquarium magnets over at the purl bee, fold the laundry that's been sitting in the basket for days (ahem); a day just to play & relax & breathe.
but alas, we're in chicago-not genève. boo.
i suppose it's time for bed. i have grand illusions of going to the gym tomorrow.
the weekend is always just a bit too short, you know? not quite enough time to sleep in, to finish that book, to organize evernote clippings (addicted to evernote, btw), to go out for laaate breakfasts, to cook, to relax. i am a firm believer that we should adopt the way of swiss schoolchildren. no school (or work!) on wednesdays. a break, a quick breather in the middle of the week! time to go to the gym, catch up on sleep, craft something like these adorable aquarium magnets over at the purl bee, fold the laundry that's been sitting in the basket for days (ahem); a day just to play & relax & breathe.
but alas, we're in chicago-not genève. boo.
i suppose it's time for bed. i have grand illusions of going to the gym tomorrow.
Friday, April 9, 2010
oo1
it's friday!
it's cold! the sun is shining, but there is a cutting wind-next time socks, more coats, etc are in order. play group this morning & we walked. rather, i walked, bug rode in the stroller. then playing at the park, lunch & some misbehaving in the library with maddie & nicole. (let's leave the door open!)
someone at playgroup told me about a spanish conversation group meeting at the buzz on wednesday. this is e.x.a.c.t.l.y. what i have been looking for-perfect compliment to my spanish text (thank you, freecycle!) and on my way to a free ticket to central america! (belieze ahem belieze!)
today, i am thankful for the sunshine! also for coffee, for the free redeye paper & for bug calling me 'mine'!
stopped at the pasta shoppe today for some pizza for our picnic. the pizza was not great. bug wouldn't even try it (& she loooves pizza) & i wasn't a fan. they do have really great arancini, but i think i will be finding other places for pizza.
should hop off the computer. taking patrick out to dinner tonight for his birthday so i should probably shower & brush my hair! or make some lists about things i will do someday!
it's cold! the sun is shining, but there is a cutting wind-next time socks, more coats, etc are in order. play group this morning & we walked. rather, i walked, bug rode in the stroller. then playing at the park, lunch & some misbehaving in the library with maddie & nicole. (let's leave the door open!)
someone at playgroup told me about a spanish conversation group meeting at the buzz on wednesday. this is e.x.a.c.t.l.y. what i have been looking for-perfect compliment to my spanish text (thank you, freecycle!) and on my way to a free ticket to central america! (belieze ahem belieze!)
today, i am thankful for the sunshine! also for coffee, for the free redeye paper & for bug calling me 'mine'!
stopped at the pasta shoppe today for some pizza for our picnic. the pizza was not great. bug wouldn't even try it (& she loooves pizza) & i wasn't a fan. they do have really great arancini, but i think i will be finding other places for pizza.
should hop off the computer. taking patrick out to dinner tonight for his birthday so i should probably shower & brush my hair! or make some lists about things i will do someday!
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