a few thoughts on doulas & certification

so after maria & i posted a link on facebook about old navy's new 'formula powered' onsie from dr momma, and as always, a good discussion followed (is following?), it got me thinking about my doula certification. participating in the discussion, i was trying to say what i wanted to say in a (somewhat) eloquent way (come on, it is facebook!) and realizing that i didn't really mind offending someone (that is to say, make them question what they were saying or why they believed a certain way, not to offend just to offend) i realized that is also the basis for my uncertainty about continuing my doula certification with DONA (although not my doula-ing in general. that i'll stick with!)

i started my certification process last winter and took a three day course that was DONA approved. i've got everything finished, but i just need to attend a couple of births to finish certifying. this has proved difficult given my full time job and desire to have somewhat of a life as well. however, i knew it would take awhile when i started-that's not my concern.

from what i gather/read/hear/see, doulas (certified) are supposed to give support to a woman in labor. this is all good & well & something i love to do. however, a phrase that gets thrown around a lot is 'helping the woman to have her best birth within her circle of decisions' or some variant of that. basically, let mom make the calls (& dad, usually), don't question them, but help her to achieve her ideal birth within those decisions. don't try to change her mind.

that was all & well, until i started thinking about it. i do believe all women deserve a doula in birth, but i believe women deserve (even more!) to be educated about their bodies, births, babies, etc. & not educated in a 'i read what to except when you're expceting and now i know exactly what i want' but educated in a delving into the information, playing with it, thinking about outcomes, throwing ideas around, asking probing questions, and never settling for something she isn't sure of. as a doula, i want to help with that. but i am not going to sit by when a (perspecitve) client says "well, i think vaginal birth is creepy, so i am scheduling my c-section". sorry, my gut & my conscience won't let me smile & say...okay! sounds great, i'll massage your shoulders while they cut through your abdominal muscles.

i realize that everyone has an inherent right to make their own choices, despite them being (objectively or subjectively) good or bad, smart or dumb, educated or ignorant, etc. i wouldn't try to take away anyone's right to those choices-that's not my job. but i would want to educate, push & required my clients (& friends & family!) to think about their choices. as a friend, that's in the job description, but as a certified doula, you can only go so far.

i understand why-sort of. we don't want to to antagonize doctors and nurses and midwives. we want to be allowed & welcomed into hospitals and birthing centers. we want to be respected and we do need to show respect. without getting into my feelings that no one should be giving birth in a hospital anyway (aside from those with major complications), we run into a tricky situation.

as a doula, i could choose to do any variety of births. homebirth only, teenage birth only, anything & everything, only new moms, only experienced moms, etc. i would venture to say that i'd choose homebirth (& maybe birth center births), & unmedicated. but...there's the catch. moms who are likely to choose a homebirth & unmedicated birth generally don't need a doula. they will benefit, that's for sure. but usually, they have a supportive partner, friends, etc. the moms who need doulas are the moms in hospitals, being bullied by OBs on a schedule. the moms who need the push & the education are the ones, i feel, we can't truly give the support to. we can in the sense that we can be there for them and just having someone present can really help rates of breastfeeding rise & rates of medicated births and c-sections decrease. but...that's about it. we can't help speak for mom (which of course, shouldn't be done unless a doula knows explicitly what mom wants) and we can't tell the doctor to PUT DOWN THE SCISSORS!

i think i am okay with being a very part-time, outspoken doula. i didn't get into this area of work to sit by & watch things happen. i did it to change lives.